The Chair

 

Wesley's cancer has progressed lately and since he is so weak, I decided to order him a chair for our shower.  Wesley helped me put the chair together.  I look at this chair sitting in our shower and I can't believe my eyes.  I never, ever thought I would walk this path with another loved one.  I just knew God wouldn't allow someone I love to go through this devastating disease again after watching my mama go through it for five years.  Somehow I thought we would be immune to it.  It just wouldn't happen again, and yet, here we are.

I went to pickup his pain medication today that the doctor ordered and when I saw that it was morphine, I just sat there in the car and cried.  NO! NO! NO!  It can't be! WHY? WHY? WHY?

Why does it always have to be a train at the end of the tunnel every time?  I know I am truly blessed, but I don't want our love story to end.  I honestly thought that 2023 was going to be our best year yet!  Instead, January 2023 has started out as a nightmare.

I pray, pray, pray for a miracle.  Why do bad things happen to good people?  My Wesley is simply one of the best!  I've always thought that he deserved a crown and that his reward would be in heaven, but I just thought that would be many years down the road.

I love my wonderful husband.  He truly has always been standing in my eyes right next to my daddy and you just can't find any better than my daddy.  He was one of a kind and so is my Wesley.

This is my blog and I can write what I want (especially since nobody sees it), but God, please don't take my husband yet.  Give us a few more wonderful years together.  I don't know how to live without him:(

Also, I can't wrap my head around my husband's name listed under the Prayer Needs section of our church's weekly newsletter.  Who is this???? It can't be MY Wesley Sauls!  I, sometimes, feel like I am in a dream......just floating in the air.